Your Ego is Preventing You From Improving — SS #12

You play your friend Bob every week in a tennis match.

Sometimes you win. Sometimes he does.

The scores are usually close, and you’ve been on a bit of a winning streak for the last few weeks.

But there’s a problem.

You’re seeing that new coach.

And he’s telling you that you need to learn to hit topspin with your one-handed backhand. And that you can’t just keep hacking it in with slice/underspin if you want to get to the next level.

Your coach says, “You told me that you want to be a UTR 6. Well, adding a topspin backhand is essential to this. Better players will eat up your slice.”

So you’ve been working on it once a week… but whenever you hit that backhand in your match against Bob… it’s a pathetic shot.

So you stick to slicing.

At least you beat ol’ Bob.

The Rec Player Trap

Adding skills to your game is essential to playing at a higher level.

Yet when our egos get involved, rec players usually stagnate.

I see this happening again and again.

A player will reach a certain level, have decent results against their friends, and stay at that level for the next 20 years.

It’s grim.

If your goal is to stay healthy, have a few fun matches, and just enjoy being on the tennis court—you can use this approach.

Just don’t go to a coach and tell him or her that you really want to improve or that you want to reach a higher level.

Because we both know that’s bullshit.

Why You Must Change

I’m using the example of a player not knowing how to hit a topspin backhand–but this can be used with any skill you are lacking.

If you’re scared to try it out in a match scenario because you’re worried about losing to your buddy, Bob, well then just prepare to stay at the same level for the rest of your life.

Many recreational players avoid integrating a new skill in competitive scenarios because they are scared to lose. This avoidance keeps you locked with your current skillset, preventing long-term growth.

Common platitudes like, “you’ll learn it eventually,” aren’t specific enough and don’t address the psychological factors at play, such as fear of failure and bruising one’s ego.

Set Process Goals

To truly integrate a topspin backhand (or any skill you’re working on) into your match play, start by setting small, achievable goals.

For example, let’s say you’re playing your weekly match against Bob. You can decide before the start of the match, that regardless of the score, you will use a topspin backhand when it comes to that side.

To make it even easier, commit to using that topspin backhand whenever you have a two-point lead over your opponent. E.g.: 30–0, 40–15.

This method sets your expectations for the match from the beginning and also mentally prepares you to use that topspin backhand. Keep in mind that if it’s your first few matches where you’re trialing a new skill, of course you will struggle initially!

If you’re playing in a life-or-death match, where you really care about the result, absolutely do not overthink your technique.

But if your goal is long-term development, you can and should use practice matchplay to trial those new skills you’ve been working hard on in practice.

Embrace the Learning Curve

I’ll be honest: it’s going to suck. You’ll struggle and stumble. There’s no easy way to implement a new skill into matchplay without hiccups.

Knowing this, and being ready and accepting of it, will go a long way towards setting the appropriate expectations.

Don’t let the fear of short-term failure prevent you from reaching your long-term tennis goals. You’re playing the long game, and every match is an opportunity to refine your skills, even if it means stepping out of your comfort zone.

Conquer Your Ego

Your ego can be your biggest adversary on the court, stopping you from making the necessary changes to improve. Here’s the reality: you might lose some matches in the short term, but the focus should be on your long-term development. It’s important to challenge yourself by setting specific goals that push the boundaries of your current capabilities.

If you’re not prepared to lose while working on new techniques in match scenarios, you’re likely not prepared to improve.

When You’re Ready

Need some guidance on how you should implement a change into matchplay? Unsure whether you’re structuring your practices appropriately so that you can truly improve? Book in for a Virtual Private Lesson with me for personalized feedback and guidance:

My best,
Malhar

P.S.: Let me know how I did today: