"I Should Win." — SS #14

You’re warming up for your league match, and a thought creeps into your mind: “I should beat this player… because he's got a lower UTR than me.”

Or, perhaps, “There's no chance I'll beat this player… because his UTR is a whole point higher than mine.”

These “should statements” are cognitive distortions as defined in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Made Simple, Seth J. Gillihan conveys the work of Dr. Aaron T. Beck and Dr. David D. Burns who describe “shoulding,” as “Thinking the way we want things to be is the way they ought to be.”

In other words, these thoughts set up rigid expectations and can create unnecessary pressure, as they don’t account for the natural variability and unpredictability of a sport like tennis.

There is no guaranteed result; upsets are so common in this sport!

Our goal as tennis players is to be aware of our tendency to “should” and how it impacts our performance.

The Problem

“Should statements” set stringent, strong expectations for what is about to happen.

For example, when you enter a match thinking you should win, every mistake you make feels magnified. Instead of focusing on your strategy and adapting to the ebbs and flows of the match, you become consumed with frustration and anxiety if things don’t go according to your plan.

This kind of mindset can then lead to tight, hesitant play—exactly the opposite of what you need to perform well.

Imagine you go into a match thinking you should beat Jimmy because Jimmy has only been playing half as long as you. Unbeknownst to you, Jimmy’s been training three times a week and also has a specific gym program which has resulted in some cat-like volleys when he approaches the net on your shitty backhand.

Your framing is that Jimmy has no business taking a set off you or even beating you… all of a sudden he’s up a set and a break.

How do you react?

On the flip side, if you convince yourself that you can’t win against a higher-ranked opponent, you’re already defeated before you step onto the court. I see this all the time. Players are drawn against someone who is ranked higher or has pretty strokes or a big serve in the warm-up and all of a sudden that little thought enters their minds: “I shouldn’t win this.”

Your lack of confidence will likely lead to a lack of effort and a self-fulfilling prophecy. What’s the point… he’s too good. At least I can play in the consolation draw….

I’ve coached players who’ve struggled with “should statements” and I’ve struggled with them myself.

I know from personal experience and also working with these players that there’s a tendency to play tight and tense against players who are “weaker.”

Against higher-ranked opponents, the tendency is to mentally check out and just go through the motions without competing well.

Our aim is to recognize and challenge these thoughts.

Instead of “I should win,” we should reframe it to, “I’m going to focus on performance goals and executing my game plan.” Ditto for whenever we’re thinking, “I can’t win.”

Reframe Your Experience and Expectations

Reframing “should statements” can change your mindset and how you play on the tennis court!

Here’s how to do it:

Recognize the Thought: Be aware when you catch yourself thinking in “should” terms. This includes overly stringent and rigid expectations of what “should” happen based on your starting conceptions.

Challenge the Thought: Ask yourself if this thought is helping or hindering you. Will it be the best thing for your performance? Will it help you compete and enjoy your time on the court?

Reframe the Thought: Replace the “should” with a more constructive statement—and a focus on your performance and tactical goals. It really is about staying in the present and executing your plan, whatever that might be.

For Your Next Match

Next time you catch yourself thinking, “I should…” before or during a match, pause and reframe the thought.

Focus on what you can control—your effort, your attitude, and your strategy.

Try to stay present in the moment!

This shift in mindset can help you improve the quality of your overall performance.

Let me know how it goes!

Please share your experiences in the comments of this post. You just have to use that little button at the top left of this email.

Or just write back to me.

Get Better With Me!

Struggling with really strict expectations or don’t know how to prepare for competition? Consider booking a session with me. Together, we can work on developing a healthier, more productive approach to your tennis that will help you achieve your goals.

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