Don't Terrorize Yourself — SS #7

Welcome back to The Short Set.

Today, we're covering a critical aspect of competing that often goes unnoticed but can dramatically impact your performance: negative self-talk.

Your Internal Terrorist

We all know that inner voice that criticizes us whenever we make a mistake or something doesn't go our way. But what happens when this voice becomes an "internal terrorist,” critiquing, damaging, and ruining your time on court?

I know, I know. That is pretty dramatic wording.

But for many players, your internal dialogue with yourself serves as a huge barrier to improvement, enjoyment on the match court, and bringing the best performance out of yourself.

Does any of the below sound familiar?

"Why are you even on the court?"

"How can you suck so much?!"

"Stop wasting your time and money."

"I hate this sport. I want to give up."

Imagine playing a match and instead of being present and trying to tactically work out how you can come out on top, you're stewing in your negative self-talk and telling yourself what a piece of shit you are.

It's pretty bleak.

I used to struggle with this, and have worked with a few players who were overly critical of themselves. My self-talk was replete with extreme criticisms and derogations.

My mind was not a fun place to be.

And, of course, this really messed with my performance! Unless you’re a masochist, then my view is that it’s probably messing with yours as well.

Pay Attention to Your Self-Talk

Awareness was the first domino of change for me. After a long time where I completely berated myself, I finally thought, "What am I doing? Why am I being so critical?"

Realizing that you have an inner voice that is akin to an internal terrorist is the first step in creating change.

And when I work with players who have this issue, I also encourage them to be aware and mindful of their internal voice. The research suggests that awareness and mindfulness are the first stones you can turn to curtail this problem.

When I started spending a few moments meditating, paying attention to my thoughts and my internal dialogue, I realized how insanely self-critical I was of myself.

Have you tried mindfulness? Does it help you?

The next step for me—and I know this sounds dumb and obvious—was to take some time to reflect and ask myself, “Is talking to myself like this really going to help me to perform well?”

If you struggle with negative self-talk, it might be time to ask yourself this as well.

Be Your Own Best Friend

Another route of approaching critical self-talk is to try and be your own best friend.

If you were watching your best friend compete on the tennis court, what kinds of things would you want to say to them? Would you be constantly berating and filling them up with negative and critical emotional feedback?

Would you be telling them that they should go choke on a tennis ball?

Or would you try to be encouraging with kind and supportive feedback?

I would hope that the answer is obvious.

So remember, be kind to yourself when you're on the match court. Be your own best friend. There are enough things for you to deal with without terrorizing yourself with your self-talk.

I Can Help You

Have a think about working with me. Tennis is so much more than the technical side (though I love helping players build great fundamentals). Thanks for being here.

My best,
Malhar

P.S.: I first heard the term “Internal Terrorist” in a TENNIS Magazine article and wanted to use it as a source here—but was unable to locate it to incorporate it into this article.

P.P.S.: Don’t forget, if you share The Fast 4 with tennis friends and teammates, then you’ll earn coupons, rewards, and free lessons with me.

I made a quick reel on the changes I’ve made on my forehand and was surprised to receive feedback that it was better in 2020! I think the opposite—and will make a video detailing why—but I’m curious to hear your thoughts.

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